andrewsoup:

gr8a:

These are all examples from an imgur thread of people (who don’t speak x language very well) trying to describe a thing (that they don’t know the word for), and there are lots more hilarious examples here.

This sounds like how Tom Haverford would describe things.

HORSE TORNADO 

(via elfypedia)

andrewscottiee:

yes-i-am-lucifer:

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

we love you pete

Perfect Pete

(via kidstoner)

th3w0lfcub:

potentiallypr0blematic:

I found this hilarious.

Amazing!

How bloody talented is Rou? Such a good performance. 

Today I hired a girl because she was a ‘big fan’ of Chewbacca.

How to: a brief management lesson from the most professional manager ever. 

Asker Anonymous Asks:
What is the salary band for your new jawb?
ayershole ayershole Said:

MASSIF

You know those days your bed is too comfy to leave? Well my alarm went off super early today, I grumbled as I turned it off (shrieking like a baby T-rex) and decided to check all my phone shabang. Its really nice being in Australia because I wake up to Facebook stuff, Whatsapps emails THE LOT because of the time difference, it makes me feel special.

So there I am, not really wanting to leave bed, where I check my email and open up the contract for my new job. First page, in huge centered text, is my salary. Almost choked to death/lept out of bed to the moon at the same time. Lord.

Momentary relapse of robotic emotions: I miss very few things from back home. Almost nothing. But fuck me I miss my best friend so much. It sucks so bad.

which means I FINALLY GET TO FUNDRAISE FOR MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAPPY KIDS

I took der jerbsssss.

I GOT THE JOB! I manage the whole of fucking WA. WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND GIVES ME THIS RESPONSIBILITY. 

rebel—grrrl:

wangyaoforequality:

Not even sorry for this one.

-admin

Has it ever crossed your mind that a girl doesn’t need to date shut just because he is ‘nice’/wants to take her out? From the looks of things this guy couldn’t take no for an answer (which was the initial answer she gave this dude) so is it any wonder she made up lies to get away from done guy who has literally been hounding her for years?!

This guy is not a good guy. This guy is not romantic. This guy is a creep.

Oh. and you know this guy personally to come to that conclusion do you?

Jesus christ am I on my period or something.

Actually fuck that shit chat - Ive raised £4.5 million for charity and that should make me god damn queen of the peasants. Fuck you all. 

Having one of those “what am I doing with my life” things.

Its 6 in the morning and I’ve just finished watching a 2 hour documentary with one of my idols - touching on social commentary in lyrics, genetics and neuro activity relating to music, social perception and attitude to the world and brief flittings on climate change and the environment - and once again it’s left me sitting here wishing I could do more. I got into charity work mainly because I needed a job, but if I already wasn’t tuned into a gave a shit about charity I wouldn’t have done it - but in terms of whats actually getting changed around the world because of me - its very fucking little I imagine.

People have nothing of worth to say anymore. Conversations are substanceless and people are just so boring when it comes to chatter of anything that has any real meaning and it’s honestly so depressing. Locally now, seeing as where I am is still completely alien, there is absolutely nowhere I can go to have these types of conversations. Musically, coming from Glasgow, the UNESCO city of music, to here - has been an absolute nightmare because there isn’t so much as a whiff of a scene. I don’t have a release for things that I like talking about and stuff that I give a shit about and it’s chewing me up.

Don’t even know what Im talking about now bye.

OKay so it turns out the Matrix came out when I was NINE so Im allowed to not understand that plot. Jesus christ. Everyone is old.