Posts tagged "cauterizewithkisses"

Everyone is currently no doubt doing big reflective 2013 posts and how great/shite it was and all I lm really bothered about is the fact that 2013 is the year I first ever tried weed thanks to my beautiful friend Ged and his overwhelming peer pressure so now Im in a full time commited relationship with it. This is marriage.


This was my last ever sign up in Scotland. Wee Rab from Paisley. I’ve been running around the streets chatting about a million different things for 3 years now and my time in Glasgow has been eventful to say the least. 

From dropping out of uni, multiple redundancies, never having money, rubbishy people and the even rubbishier weather to amazing new jobs, the royal wedding party, George Square at Christmas, German market, World War Z getting shot here, hurricane bawbag and some of the best people I’ve ever met.

Leaving the country was never something I’ve been too bothered about attachment wise as people come and go and new faces always appear, but saying goodbye to some of the people that I’ve spent the best part of 6 years getting to know, and some of the best friends ever, has really sucked. I’ve been seeing a few people for last minute catch up’s and goodbyes and the thought that I’m probably never going to return here is one that leaves me feeling very strange. I’m never going to be walking down a pissing weather heaving Saturday Buchanan St, never going to bump half the trains around the cities, never going to crack a wee smile at the horse with the cones on its heed, never going to lose my bloody mind the cathouse, again - its all a bit weird.

Honestly didn’t think leaving some people behind was going to suck so much. A head nod to Darrell, the unbreakable, who’s put up with my unbearable shite for the past 7 years through thick and thin. I had the best times putting on Bromotions shows with Jonny, becoming full hermit with Ged and Liam over the past 6 months and the pre-bedtime chats with Ged when we shared a bed for half a year. To Eilidh for always being a complete pillar of motivation and support. And to absolutely everyone of you roasters that I’ve spent far too many nights out my mind on cheap shitty vodka and apple sours in rubbish clubs - talking shite at 3am McDonalds and falling asleep on Union Street. (And to the bloody fucking nicest and prettiest girl deciding to scrambled egg my noggin as soon as I’m leaving).

Scotland is awful. The people are miserable, the weather is disgusting, theres too many wee bams and everyone north of Glasgow sounds like a mutant - but I will miss this place to no end. It’s got a piece of me. 

Spending the last few days with the best of people around. Could not have asked for a  more wonderful group of friends. Arseholes the lot of them, and I do nothing but whine so I have no idea why they’re even still here, but I love the lot of them to pieces. Roasters. 

Here’s to hopefully not fucking something up for a change. (And if I do, I’ll be back in 4 years to keep a promise and get married. Contingency plan: check) 

Is your flatmate a pocket sized pack horse that arrives home with this? No, they’re not. God bless your tiny hooves Gerrid.

Is your flatmate a pocket sized pack horse that arrives home with this? No, they’re not. God bless your tiny hooves Gerrid.

We are going out to conquer the dancefloors of the nation.

'Do I look like a gangster yet? I genuinely feel like I look good'. Yeah man, you look sick.

"Wit?! She’s no listening to me! WIT?! She hung up on me!? Wit the fuck?! Is she gonnae phone me back?"

Geds speaking on the phone to his AUTOMATED BANK SERVICE we are high as balls.

Reason #1 why I love Ged. He is a fashionista.

Today was fucking awesome and I snapped skateboard number 3 but thats okay because it was £6. Me and Ged are out tonight and you should all come and secret handshake us. Are you going out?

I wonder if Ged’s followers and anon’s who haven’t met him know he’s 4”5 in real life.

A brief tutorial on how to make a decision. Help

A brief tutorial on how to make a decision. Help

Lock up your daughters. Flatmate tag team woman stealing champions. Or something.

We are here for your females. 

so Im going to bed. Ged, I’m sorry when you wake up and look at your Tumblr. (no I’m not)

fucking stoked to stroke the dolphin and get dolla for it. The world isn’t ready for thousands of Bastard-Callum’s but I am so ready to wank for mula. Suck it society.